Castaway

Change ... I've written a blog about it before, mostly about how I don't like it.  In the couple of years that have passed since I wrote that blog post I have come to acknowledge that sometimes change is good. But among all the changes that have taken place since that blog post, one thing has remained the same, I still don't like it. 

There is actually a big change that is about to take place in my life a couple of months which is why I am bringing up the subject of change. God told me on my first missions trip in 2013 that I was going to serve here at Hospital Loma de Luz in Honduras long term. It took me a couple of years to make it happen but in 2016, I left the States on a two year commitment to the hospital. That two years has turned into five years. How has it been that long already!? During these five years, I have been seeking God's direction on how long I will be here for. In the past 6 months, God has making it clear that my time here in Honduras is coming to an end. I will be moving back to the States in March. So many mixed emotions as this has been my home for the past almost five years. I really am not sure what God has for me when I get there. I am going to start out by living in Maine for the summer and then see what happens from there. 

Have you ever seen the movie Castaway? If you have, you probably thought that it was one of the slowest movies that you have seen. Watching that movie was actually part of a cross cultural debrief program that I'm doing. In spite of how slow it is, I was really intrigued by it. It's about this guy, Chuck, who is the sole survivor of a plane crash during a storm in the middle of the ocean. After floating on a raft for a few days, he is washed up on an uninhabited island in the middle of nowhere with nothing but the clothes on his back. He then had to learn to survive on the island with strange sounds and creatures. He taught himself to fish with spears that he made out of sticks, caught rain water in coconuts, slept in a cave, eventually made fire with sticks, became best friends with a volleyball named Wilson, and went a little crazy. After four years being stuck on the island, he made his escape on a makeshift raft and was rescued in the middle of the ocean by a boat. The time on the island had a profound effect on him. He found the big welcome home party very overwhelming and slept on the floor in his hotel room. The lives of his friends and family had moved on without him because he was thought to have died in the crash. His former fast paced life was overwhelming and unappealing to him now. He had changed significantly and had experienced things on that island that his colleagues and friends would never understand. He still felt lost. At the end of the movie, he finds himself at a cross road while on a road trip. He stands in the middle of the intersection looking every direction having to make a decision of which way he will go and just picks one. 

I've been on that island for five years now. Five years of adapting to live in a different country with a different culture. Learning how to not just survive but to thrive. It has been a really hard journey but one that that I am forever grateful to have experienced. One that has changed me.  One in which I have experienced joy and deep pain and even went a little crazy. I am returning "home" to a place that has continued to go on without me. Home to a place where I no longer fit into because I have been gone for so long. I so greatly appreciate your prayers as I transition back to living in the USA. It is going to be difficult for a while as I adjust and stand in the cross road of determining where God is leading me next.